I am the sick one who has suffered for so long, what should I do?

try to find social services place and mental health programs, they can help you live a more fullfilling life, they can help you with applying for benefits were you can get your meds at low cost and not depend on your parents, there are organizations that can help with job training, go to school. you can also find a new psychiatrist, good luck to you, you can pray to god as well to heal you